The Last Visit

10/18/16

The Last Visit

Well, according to everybody…..nobody slept well last night. Not sure why.

The morning came quickly as the orphan’s court representative was coming by at 9:30 in the morning.  With the girls cleaned up and ready to go we sent them off to our local bakery to pick up some goodies for our third and final OC visit.

The meeting started out as usual with some normal “how you doin’” type questions.  Interestingly enough, she was actually watching the interaction between Nata and Sheri and myself to some regard and taking notes.  Later on, she asked us, or I should say, told us that Nata seems much more attached and physical with us on this third visit.

But soon enough we got right down to business as the girls played in our bedroom.  We found the first half hour of our portion of the meeting to be both informative and really had nothing to do with the adoption of Nata but rather information and questions regarding the old Foster parents.

As the OC lady does not speak any English she speaks in her native tongue of Latvian and Ilze a translates it into English for us.  At the time we did not know she was asking questions about the old Foster parents but when word I had pick-up on this sounds very similar to a word is “criminal”.  For a moment my heart stopped but continued to listen to the rest of her statement before it was translated to us. To find out she was actually speaking about the old Foster parents and the criminal investigation that is ongoing.  Once again, as the topic is very sensitive I will not be talking about those questions or statements within this blog.

Eventually, the questions got right back on track with what did we do this a third week with Nata.  Other questions involved were there any behavioral issues and most importantly did we want to continue with the adoption.  I know that the last question they must ask us but I had to chuckle because for me it would be like someone asking me if I breath air?

After 45 minutes the girls were asked to come back into the room and Sheri, Ilze and I left the room.  She spoke with the girls for about 20 minutes and eventually we were asked to return.  It is great hearing the responses that Nata gave the representative.  Things were asked like do you want to be adopted by them?  Do you understand you will be living in America and so on and so on.  The representative said she was a resounding yes and every question she was asked of her regarding the adoption.

And interesting side note was last night when Sheri was laying down with the girls Nata asked if we could leave tomorrow to go home to San Diego.

We were not really worried about her responses to the representative.  Apparently, during a jovial line of questions the representative had asked are if she wanted for them to find her and another Foster family.  Once again she looked at the recent representative and said, “no way this is my mommy and daddy”.

At the conclusion of the third visit the representative told us that we were very good parents and a few other comments that really warmed our hearts.

With the meeting done and still needing to get Nata some shoes for tomorrow’s court visit we set off to our local mall to see what we could find.  To make a long story short, we found nothing and eventually went home.  But before going home we had to stop off at the toy store for the umpteenth time this month.  Nata is wonderful about spending other people’s money for her to give guests to everyone.  On the way home I asked her why does she likes to give so much.  I already knew the answer but I wanted to hear it for her.  Her reply was, “I never ever had the chance to give gifts to anyone at the Foster parents home”.  “I’d like giving gives because it makes other people happy and I feel good”.  So here’s how it translates in parent talk. “I will keep buying her gifts to give other people.”

Another interesting point that the OC representatives brought up had a lot to do with Andre, Nata’s brother.  She had asked us, and we agreed 100%, that if and when she was ready to speak about Andre we would be open to it and seek any needed professional help.  So on the way home I asked are if there was anything she wanted to talk that about that involved Andre.  She said no but I reminded her again that we both have very similar stories and I completely understand where she is coming from and what the emotions she may have.  When I told her about the death of my brother her questions involved how long ago was it?  How old was I?  And are you still sad?  We all know she wants to talk more about that but from all the years of not being allowed to have her own opinions or comments, at this time she will not open up to anybody.  But we’ll keep working with her and we will give her the help she needs to come to terms with Andre’s death, unlike the old foster parents.

By the time we got home, around 3:00, Sanija had the lot of schoolwork to complete.  It was almost 8:00 tonight when she finished her work.  Meanwhile, ‘my student’ (Nata) worked on writing out, in English, her Christmas list.  Just to give everybody a heads up her Christmas present list is simply to buy anything that is Barbie related.

Knowing the girls did not do much in the way of physical activity today at 8:00pm we put on YouTube videos of Just Dance videos.  The girls took to the dance floor for about an hour until an accidental kick to my ribs put a kibosh on the evening’s entertainment.  That was not my idea but rather Sanija as she tends to take little things like this to the extreme.  By this time it was off to wash-up and say our nightly thankfuls.  For Sheri and I, we are beyond thankful that this time around we already know Nata’s response whereas last year this time we were strategizing with Ilze and the Orphan’s Court about how we could best work through Sanija’s challenges and fears. 

Here are a few of the gifts that I received from Nata.