Sunday, May 21, 2017

The 5 year odyssey of adoption that my wife and I embarked on so long ago is finally coming to an end in just a few days. How can I put into words this quest of this great adventure and makes some sort of rational sense that my mind can somehow wrap itself around.

They say ignorance is bliss and from my point of view, it all depends on if you are at the beginning of the adoption process or the end.  If I would have known then what I know now…… Boy, that statement really comes into focus and I know now what that truly means.  Unless you’ve been through the process my tongue does not have the vocabulary to articulate what my mind and heart feels.

In our adoption  blog post I wrote almost 2 and a half years ago I stole some lines from a movie that still has the same impact now as it did them.  Below are those words that were the driving force that drove us to continue this quest when one has been beaten down countless time and the heart and the mind couldn’t take any more.

“Sheri and I have been beaten down countless times, had to smash numerous piggy banks and have shed an ocean of tears. We’ve been excited and counted our days and have had the rug beneath our feet pulled away. We have put our life on hold and lived for the day. So why do we continue on a quest that seems untouchable and is represented only by a distant fading star in the nights sky.

My answer lies in two words stolen from a film. "What" and "If"!  "What" and "If" are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: What if? I don't know how our story ended but if Sheri and I don’t give our hearts and complete this quest to bring home our daughter than “What If”, will haunt us for all our days.

Now, I sit here, 5 years since we decided to adopt, some forty thousand feet above the Atlantic Ocean traveling back to Latvia for the sixth and final time trying to express in words what this all means. But how can I? How does one express every-single emotion we have gone through, every decision that needed to be made, every obstacle that was placed in front of us. How do you quantify this odyssey called adoption.  Then in my minds eyes I see those beautiful eyes of my two young girls and it brings tears to my eyes.  I look down at my littlest girl, Natalija, asleep beside me all cured up and looking so innocent and peaceful as her tiny body is crammed into the airplanes seats.
As I look down on her and gently stroke her hair I realize that…. because of the quest I have a bond with my two girls that I simple can not put into words, nor would I want to. Love does not have a price whether that be financial, physical or emotional.  But I keep trying to rationalize all this and then I had a realization. I now have my own family. A family I would do anything for. Wow, that’s it! I HAVE MY OWN FAMILY!

So ignorance is bliss.  If you would have told me that 5 years ago to simply have ignorance at the beginning of this adoption process, I would have thought you were nuts. It was so frustrating not having the answers to all my questions and at times it got me upset. Now, I realize that one must have ignorance at the beginning to prevent you from giving up. Because if you knew everything my rational mind would have said to “stop”. But that is where the mistake can be made. There is a major part of the equation missing that you can not phantom until you have gone through the process.  Even words can not describe it as they are elusive till they make themselves known. Even then, they are so non-discrete that you don’t realize, at that moment, the significant’s of it.  It can best be described as individual thread of the tapestry of life. By themselves they are meaningless but when woven together they make the most beautiful, cherished tapestry we call life.

This chapter of my book is closing, but a new chapter begins.  I now have the answers to “what if”. I know I will never be haunted by those words when it comes to my two girls and their adoptions. I know Sheri and I have changed the lives of two precious young girls forever and in turn, they have changed ours.  I think back at the broken down farm house that these girls came from and where they are now. These girls finally have a family that will love them forever. My eyes tear up when I realized that they finally have a Mommy and Daddy that will love them forever. They are home!

As I re-read my writings, I realize I can’t summarize this process. There are to many facets that this story that can not come into focus without knowing the details.  How do you put into words when my little girl looks at me and gives me a smile.  You can’t. You can describe the actions but not the feelings and therefore you only get 50% of the story. How do you put into words that 6th sense I had when walking to the building, when we would first meet Sanija and knowing she was watching us or that first photo I received and saw those beautiful eyes of Sanija that took my breath away and spoke to me. How can I forget when the two girls ran towards one another in that Latvian Park and embraced each other for 20 minutes when they thought they would never see each other again. How can I paint such a picture and try to describe the colors. You can’t! You try it. Explain to me the color purple.

Therefore, I will say “so-long”. My words, my chapter, my story has come to an end. I have learned what the word, “Brave” means and next to it are my daughters. You have been through so much, more than any child should have to in life. Yet, you are so incredible strong and sweet. You are an inspiration tome and the people who know you.

My final thoughts I will keep to myself. But before I go I want to say something to Sanija and Natalija


I love you more than words can describe. Whatever “trials” that you may have had in life it was those experiences and events that have brought you to us and has made you the person you are today. It is up to you to decide what to do with your new life. Mommy and I have given you all the tools and inspiration to be a success in whatever you decide to do.  You are in control of your own destiny.  From the moment you were born, that first breath you took, your destiny was to become our daughters. Use those experiences to become the strongest, gentlest and kindness person you can be.  You have brought so much happiness to my life it is immeasurable by any standards. Always keep in your heart the love I have for you and let it be your guiding light in your life to come.   I love you!

Friday, October 21, 2016

The Last Post - Happy Birthday Dad

It's hard to believe that here I am, one more time writing the last post in this chapter in my life. We have found our daughters, lost for all those year in a tiny farm house in Latvia. I can't begin to understand the complexities that has led us down this road. Little did I know that the one single question I had utter to Ilze and Sheri a little over a year ago would somehow find its way back to us in that third week of April of this year. "Would you be interested in adopting Natalija". Without even seeing a photo of her or knowing any medical information I did not even have a single question in my mind about her being my child. 

Now, here I sit, looking out my window at the cobblestone streets below and I realize I have the perfect family. Our adoptions, completely different from one another, share the same common thread of love. That single thread that will weave the most beautiful tapestry in the years to come without forgetting their past. Our girls have shared a difficult life together, but somehow have fond memories of that early childhood. Who knows, that may change in the years to come but right now we let them enjoy what memories they have and one day, if they learn the truth may they have open hearts to forgive and realize it had nothing to do with them. 

Once again, the air has turned cold. There is a bite in the air that tells the restaurant owners to roll up the sidewalks and wait till the spring thaw to bring them sidewalk cafes back out. The frost from my breath tells me, it's time. As much as I look forward to the return home and seeing my family, my pups and feeling the warmth in the air I will truly miss my time being here.  Not only is Riga a beautiful old city but the people and their way of life. Yes, I am not a fan of the "man purse" but that is just the way things are here. I can do without the hordes of smokers but that is another part of life here. It's fun picking out the Russians from the Latvians and watching the women try to walk in high heel shoes on cobblestone streets. Adventure is right out my door and I'm lucky I have a family that seeks adventures.   Also a cherished custom is that ‘downtime’ here is truly downtime. A day off actually means a day off, not a day to run a million errands.  I believe this part  meant so much to Sheri who tries like so many Americans to pack as much into one day as possible.  It has been a pleasure watching Sheri decompress the last month and really enjoy the Latvian lifestyle.   Despite the cold I know Sheri will truly miss this special time as she re-enters the working mother environment, but hopefully with a few lessons learned.

But mostly, I will miss my Latvian family, we will all miss Ilze. She has done so much for Sheri and I. My words cannot articulate the sincere gratitude and love we have for you. You have help build our family and made our dreams come true. Both of my girls adore you and that alone is enough for me. I don't think we can ever repay you for your help, kindness and simply being our friend. I hate saying goodbye so I will simply say, till we see each other again.  We have also really enjoyed the time spent with Ilze’s family, a group of beautiful souls, but with Ilze as their mother we expect nothing less.

There are a few people that I have never spoken about, their biological parents. We have very little information on them and what we do know is simply pieced together from old reports. But as I think about my two daughters I can't imagine the thought of ever losing them or having them taken away from me.  The absolute grief that would rip my heart apart would haunt me for the rest of my life. The only salvation would be knowing my girls were loved and taken care of.  I have no way of contacting them and if I did I don't think I would. To be honest, I have no love or hate for them. I don't know them or their circumstances or what events took place so long ago. But if I had a chance to write them without them knowing who I was, I think these are the words I would choose.


Dear Bio-Parent,

I'm not sure of the exact reasons you had to give up your precious daughters but I know it must have been a heart-breaking decision on your part, whether through your own fault or another. The Ancient Greeks have a name for this: "Agape Love". This kind of love is called "the selfless love. This was a love that you  show family members or distant strangers. Agape was later translated into Latin as caritas, which is the origin of our word "charity." You have shown Agape love in the truest sense.

For whatever those reasons are, I am so thankful that it was Sheri and I that found our long lost daughters. Oh sure, not biologically but in ways you probably won't understand. To us, there is no difference. These two girls are as much a part of us as if we had given birth to them ourselves. From the moment they were born they have always been ours and we thank you for bringing them into life.

Families are not defined by our genes but rather built, shared, nurtured and maintained through love. My favorite quote goes something like this: "Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone, but still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, that from the moment you were born you didn't grow under my heart but IN IT".

Just so you know we are head-over heels, passionately, heart-palpitating, madly, deeply, time stands still, in love with these girls, our daughters.  It is our hope that one day you can relish in the girls’ triumphs from afar. Knowing that your charity was the greatest gift you could have given them whether it was through your own action or someone else’s.

Should the day come, somewhere in the future, that these girls want to know about their birth parents and eventually seek you out. It is my hope that you are the kind of person(s) they thought you were – that may be; good, bad or indifferent.  Because in the end it’s only my girls’ hearts that matter. Should they ask me about you and why you did the things you did. I will not belittle you in any way. No child should ever think about their bio-parents like that. In return, I would ask you to spare their hearts for it is knowledge that they seek.

- their Father - Bobbi

It’s approaching 10:30pm now and in 5 ½ hours our Taxi will be here to take us away. We just left Ilze and her three boys for a farewell celebration at the top of the Blu. There was no better way to end this adventure than with the ones we cherish the most.  This trip was more about family and friends than it was about anything else. Ilze holds a very special place in our hearts and both Sanija and Natalija adore her beyond words.   Sheri and I said tonight that we would not have appreciated this trip as much had we not walked through the experience of our first adoption with Sanija.  It’s an old cliché but what a difference a year can make.  And as a side, this final day here is Riga just happens to be the birthday of my dad, who not only helped in more ways than he will ever know, but would have loved these girls just as much as we do.  With that, Sheri and I toasted dad, not only to say ‘happy birthday, but to say ‘thank you, we love you and we think you would be proud.”

This will be my last post. I want to thank all those who have followed our tremendous journey with us. Your love for our two girls is inspirational and Sheri and I thank you. I sincerely hope that sometime in the distant future my words will once again be read for the first time by a young lady who goes by the name Nata. I hope my words will saturate her heart with the love that her forever Mommy and Daddy has for her.


We love you Natalija


Thursday, October 20, 2016

Embassy visit

It’s hard to express this state of the ease our family is in.  There are no more OC visitations, no more court hearings and no more appointments to be kept.

The morning started out pretty relaxing as the only two things we had to accomplish today. Running out to the United States of America embassy and to start the actual packing up all the stuff we have either brought with us or purchased here.

 I’ve come to realize that  our youngest daughter has the attention span of a knat.  We asked her to complete one job and we needed to remind her of that job no less than 10 times after she originally started.  Natalija we have come to realize does not waste a single item.  Every scrap of paper whether or not it was cut up or crumpled somehow made it into her “go home pile”.  This included, the toilet paper rolls, melted wax, pieces of used blue paper tape and anything else that could be used in the future for an art project. Mommy had a fun time throwing out crumpled paper, toilet paper rolls, melted wax and a whole host of other useless items.

Before long it was time to meet up with Ilze to drive out to the embassy to submit the paperwork for Nata’s visa.  We had a fun time with her telling her we were going to the United States today.  I don’t think she believed to us when we told her as soon as we got through security it would be a lot warmer in the compound.  She looked at me with disbelief but you could tell in the back of her mind she was thinking.


After our interview her visa was granted and we will be able to pick it up tomorrow afternoon.  Ilze however, said she would pick it up and bring it out to us.  On the way home the girls apparently asked her if her family could meet with us tomorrow night for our farewell ice cream sundae at the top of the Blu.  We look forward to spending more time with Ilze and her beautiful family.  Since the kids are close in age it’s been fun to see them interact.

I forgot to mention that before we left Nata and I had to go visit the dressmaker to pick up her custom made traditional Latvian costume.  The ladies that worked there remembered us from last year and the dress made for Sanija.  As we left the store all of the workers came to say goodbye with huge smiles on their faces, Nata to waved to them.


With our morning tasks done and the visit to the embassy completed we now have to get down to business and really figure out how we were getting all this stuff home.  We worked for many hours and could only manage to get two suitcases packed and weighed.  Our airlines only allow bags to be no more than 50 pounds each.  If you do the math, that gives us 200 pounds.  But by the looks of things we have 300 pounds of stuff, including 100 pounds of doll stuff.

The girls were bouncing off the ceiling so we decided to get a late dinner and let the girls come home to watch a Disney movie while Sheri and I continued to pack.  I really should say Sheri continued to pack as I got a little distracted watching, “A Bug’s Life”. 

It’s about 11:00pm here and we just put the girls to bed.  I think Sheri still has the idea that we’re packing more tonight.  I would normally agree and we have a ton of work to do but I have hit the wall.

Nata is so excited to get to what she refers to as, her home.  She must have  asked me 10 times today when we’re leaving to go.  Sanija has also mentioned that she is ready to go home as well.  She absolutely loves being in Latvia but I think she now realizes that her life is in America.  Both girls are so proud to be Latvian and Sheri and I you will do whatever we have in our power to make sure they never forget their roots.

So much of their conversation has been about seeing their extended family such as Michaela and Savannah along with funny Uncle Tim and their favorite Aunt Jayne.  Nata looks forward to meeting Grandma and Papa G and seeing her Grandma R and insists that Grandma Rossini made her a promise to stop smoking.  Now Mom, I would hate to be you if that promise is not filled. You will certainly feel the wrath of Natalija.



Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Serendipitous

Serendipitous

As you well know today was the day if for the Rossini’s.  Today we would find out if the courts would grant Nata an extended stay as the process to adopt her continues.
The morning would start out with a walk to the Radisson Blu for the morning buffet leaving a few hours for the four of us to get ready for the hearing.

The girls looked  outstanding as usual and you all know how much I love wearing those choking devices and those feet impaling bricks that men wear on their feet.  It was nearing 1 (the court hearing was at 1:30) and we still had not heard from the Ilze, so to save time, we walk down to the corner to meet up with her.

There are points in time that are unexplainable by anyone’s definition.  Today would be one of those moments in time that would be serendipitous by the any definition of the word.  As we stood there waiting for Ilze a to arrive, from around the corner a familiar face would greet us.  It was no other than the person that worked so incredibly hard for us and our attempt to adopt Sanija.  Could it really be Irda?  It was and we were incredibly surprised and happy to see her.  For those who recall our blog for Sanija. Irda was the head orphan’s court judge that would meet us for the evaluations during that month long period on our first adoption.  It was Irda that created the options that would allow Sanija to travel to the United States before making her final decision to be adopted.  It is the same Irda that fought for us so well on that dreaded, horrific 6 hour+ second court visit on trip two where we almost lost Sanija thanks to politics that were initiated by none other than the foster family.   The same Irda that took so much verbal abuse from the judge and the very same person who is still dealing with the ongoing legal and criminal battle against the old Foster parents.

Now she was standing in front of us with the most wonderful smile you could imagine as she stared at Sanija.  Many hugs and “thank you’s” were exchanged between all of us.  Much of the conversation was between her and Sanija that we did not understand because we do not speak Latvian.  But we can certainly see by the look on her face that she was so proud of Sanija and her accomplishments.  She was there for so much of Sanija’s uncertainty about being adopted I could only imagine how elated she must have been.   We later learned from Ilze that Irda told her that Sanija was not even the same person that she remembered from last year.  It’s one thing to see pictures and read updates but it’s a completely different experience when you get to see firsthand how a very tough and long adoption process was well worth all of the challenges when you see a child blossom to such great extent like Sanija has this past year.   The genuine happiness that comes from Sanija now is beyond priceless when you really think about Sanija’s background and her own adoption story.

Finally, Ilze showed up in the continued to walk towards the orphans court with Irda.  But before long she had to leave us.  I can’t help but think that we will more than likely never see her again.  I sincerely hope she knows deep down in our heart how much she means to us and how much we appreciate all the work she has done for us to help create this family.

But now it was time for our court date.  As we waited in the hallway for our invitation to enter the court Nata’s orphans court representative, the one who was conducted all of the interviews, got a chance to wish us all the best of luck and for a wonderful future.

When you think of these two ladies that have done so much to help create this family I can’t help but to have complete gratification for the work they have done.  I sincerely hope that as the years passed they can look back at their lives and realize that joys they have brought to us.

As the door opened only Sheri and I along with our Attorney/Ilze were asked to come in.  I felt a little sorry for Sanija as I know she wanted to be part of this.  This time however, Sheri and I were ready for the type of questions they would soon be asking us.  One by one as the questions were thrown we had the answers.  The three representatives in front of us seemed impressed as we did not stumble or falter on anything.  As I sit here dictating this message I can’t help to compare this visit to Sanija’s visit.  Wow, they are both completely different and yet so similar.

With our line of questions completed they asked Nata to meet with them alone.  She was only in there for few minutes before the doors opened and she joined us in the hallway.  I asked her, what did they ask and her response was, “oh nothing”.  Not that it was one of the most important questions asked of her in her short life but that’s the answer we got.

Sheri and I were invited back into the room where there would be the final verdict.  We could tell by the looks on their faces that we’re going to have a positive decision and that’s what we got!  It’s official that they will allow Nata to travel to the United States, under our care and supervision until such a time that the adoption period can be finalized within the next few months.

Although Sheri and I pretty much knew what the outcome would be we were still relieved that care and supervision were granted to us.  As we were walking down the street coming home from the orphan’s court I think Nata asked if we could leave tomorrow to go home.  I think she was a little confused when we told her we would be in the United States tomorrow.  She told us we needed to get home and pack until we told her that the United States embassy in Riga is considered part of America.

After we said goodbye to Ilze but before going to our celebratory lunch one thing had to be done first……  And that was……..  I needed to get out of these ridiculous clothes.

As we sat in the steak hoous the girls enjoyed as flavorful Shirley temple.  At the end of the meal, although we did not ask for it, our waitress brought to our table four small desserts.  She told us these were a gift from her because in the two years she has been a waitress she had never seen two parents teach their kids manners while being in a restaurant and that she really appreciated it.  There were a few more compliments she paid us but you know how much I hate tooting my own hornJ  Despite that gift and subsequent compliments let’s be truthful, our kids NEVER went out to eat before with meeting us (Sanija) or being hosted (Nata) and they still have much to learn about manners in nice restaurants but we have promised each other that by the time that we are old and gray (ok may just old) that these two will fully understand the importance of manners and respect.

Sheri wanted some time alone, after lunch, two pick up a few gifts for the girls.  So, what does that mean?  That means I get the girls alone for a little while and what or where do you think my girls wanted to go?  Yup, back to ride the 5D movies.  We also stepped into the dressmaking shop to confirm we would be able to pick up Nata’s dress tomorrow.

With a little less than 2 hours to prepare the girls would be heading to the BlackHead House to watch a violin concert with Ilze and one of her boys.  I was supposed to go but the accidental injury I sustained from the kick in the ribs from Sanija last night has me in a bit of pain.  I don’t think I have a broken or cracked a rib but I do think I have some interior swelling of some non-important organ that should be better by tomorrow or the following day.  It is difficult to lean forward, cough and sometimes breathe without feeling some amount of pain.  Therefore, I knew I would be both antsy and uncomfortable during the performance and decided not to go.  Now, you may think it had to do with wearing the suit and tie to the performance but really it had nothing to do with, wink-wink!

It’s now a little past 9:00 PM here and it seems so quiet without my two Tasmanian devils to keep me occupied.  As I’ve looked around the room all I could see are the memories of this past month.  We have given birth to a nine year old girl who calls us mommy and daddy.  Soon we will be heading home and the month we spent here in Latvia will be a fond memory. 

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

The Last Visit

10/18/16

The Last Visit

Well, according to everybody…..nobody slept well last night. Not sure why.
The morning came quickly as the orphan’s court representative was coming by at 9:30 in the morning.  With the girls cleaned up and ready to go we sent them off to our local bakery to pick up some goodies for our third and final OC visit.

The meeting started out as usual with some normal “how you doin’” type questions.  Interestingly enough, she was actually watching the interaction between Nata and Sheri and myself to some regard and taking notes.  Later on, she asked us, or I should say, told us that Nata seems much more attached and physical with us on this third visit.

But soon enough we got right down to business as the girls played in our bedroom.  We found the first half hour of our portion of the meeting to be both informative and really had nothing to do with the adoption of Nata but rather information and questions regarding the old Foster parents.

As the OC lady does not speak any English she speaks in her native tongue of Latvian and Ilze a translates it into English for us.  At the time we did not know she was asking questions about the old Foster parents but when word I had pick-up on this sounds very similar to a word is “criminal”.  For a moment my heart stopped but continued to listen to the rest of her statement before it was translated to us. To find out she was actually speaking about the old Foster parents and the criminal investigation that is ongoing.  Once again, as the topic is very sensitive I will not be talking about those questions or statements within this blog.

Eventually, the questions got right back on track with what did we do this a third week with Nata.  Other questions involved were there any behavioral issues and most importantly did we want to continue with the adoption.  I know that the last question they must ask us but I had to chuckle because for me it would be like someone asking me if I breath air?

After 45 minutes the girls were asked to come back into the room and Sheri, Ilze and I left the room.  She spoke with the girls for about 20 minutes and eventually we were asked to return.  It is great hearing the responses that Nata gave the representative.  Things were asked like do you want to be adopted by them?  Do you understand you will be living in America and so on and so on.  The representative said she was a resounding yes and every question she was asked of her regarding the adoption.

And interesting side note was last night when Sheri was laying down with the girls Nata asked if we could leave tomorrow to go home to San Diego.

We were not really worried about her responses to the representative.  Apparently, during a jovial line of questions the representative had asked are if she wanted for them to find her and another Foster family.  Once again she looked at the recent representative and said, “no way this is my mommy and daddy”.

At the conclusion of the third visit the representative told us that we were very good parents and a few other comments that really warmed our hearts.

With the meeting done and still needing to get Nata some shoes for tomorrow’s court visit we set off to our local mall to see what we could find.  To make a long story short, we found nothing and eventually went home.  But before going home we had to stop off at the toy store for the umpteenth time this month.  Nata is wonderful about spending other people’s money for her to give guests to everyone.  On the way home I asked her why does she likes to give so much.  I already knew the answer but I wanted to hear it for her.  Her reply was, “I never ever had the chance to give gifts to anyone at the Foster parents home”.  “I’d like giving gives because it makes other people happy and I feel good”.  So here’s how it translates in parent talk. “I will keep buying her gifts to give other people.”

Another interesting point that the OC representatives brought up had a lot to do with Andre, Nata’s brother.  She had asked us, and we agreed 100%, that if and when she was ready to speak about Andre we would be open to it and seek any needed professional help.  So on the way home I asked are if there was anything she wanted to talk that about that involved Andre.  She said no but I reminded her again that we both have very similar stories and I completely understand where she is coming from and what the emotions she may have.  When I told her about the death of my brother her questions involved how long ago was it?  How old was I?  And are you still sad?  We all know she wants to talk more about that but from all the years of not being allowed to have her own opinions or comments, at this time she will not open up to anybody.  But we’ll keep working with her and we will give her the help she needs to come to terms with Andre’s death, unlike the old foster parents.

By the time we got home, around 3:00, Sanija had the lot of schoolwork to complete.  It was almost 8:00 tonight when she finished her work.  Meanwhile, ‘my student’ (Nata) worked on writing out, in English, her Christmas list.  Just to give everybody a heads up her Christmas present list is simply to buy anything that is Barbie related.

Knowing the girls did not do much in the way of physical activity today at 8:00pm we put on YouTube videos of Just Dance videos.  The girls took to the dance floor for about an hour until an accidental kick to my ribs put a kibosh on the evening’s entertainment.  That was not my idea but rather Sanija as she tends to take little things like this to the extreme.  By this time it was off to wash-up and say our nightly thankfuls.  For Sheri and I, we are beyond thankful that this time around we already know Nata’s response whereas last year this time we were strategizing with Ilze and the Orphan’s Court about how we could best work through Sanija’s challenges and fears. 


Here are a few of the gifts that I received from Nata. 

Monday, October 17, 2016

Nothing Happened

Well, where do I start…………Okay, I’ll start here, we did nothing today. There you have it. Check out the next post tomorrow!

Actually, Sanija had lots of school work today. Because of our schedule for the remainder of the week, we have had to double up on most of her schoolwork.  Plus, don’t forget about the extra work Sheri has assigned her in spelling. She started today around 10am and did not finish till 3pm. She was a good sport about it but I think she is ready to get back to school to a more……..let’s just say, forgiving teacher.

Meanwhile, Nata joined me on a field trip to explore…….breakfast. Then we explored the wilds of the Galleria. And, what’s at the Galleria, yep, that toy store that all the cashiers know us. In fact, we earned a frequent flyers card.

But today the cleaning lady was coming by to get the apartment ready for our meeting with the Orphans Court on Tuesday. I’m not really sure…exactly what she cleans but…..oh well, at least she does the toilets.

But in preparation for the cleaning lady we did have the girls start to “break down” many of the art projects that lined our wall, hallways and bedrooms. Nata’s doll are no longer spread out in 3 different rooms but are all together now, in her room. Countless brochures that Nata has taken from EVERY single brochure stand has finally been thrown away. This is the start of the end and on Wednesday the official start of “Packing Day” will begin.

Meanwhile, Sanija continued her studies till she left. It was about 3pm when we left for the big mall to find a nice outfit for Nata to wear to court. All she has are the very colorful summer dresses we bought for her in July.  I’ll tell you, finding a dress for her is difficult to say the least. Where to find nice dresses for a girl, age nine, that wears a size 6 toddler clothes. We did manage to find a pretty red dress but could not find any shoes for her. Oh yes, I forgot. They need to buy tall black boots like Mommy and Sanija wear. Okay, where to find high black boots (like mommy and Sanija) when this kid wears shoes that would fit a Barbie doll.  We finally gave up and will pick the search back up tomorrow after the meeting.

We did get home late and Sanija still needed to upload (3) three of her travel journey entries into her school documents file. Finally, around 9pm she finished and we attempted to put the wild savages to bed. We failed miserable the first time and had to regroup for another assault.  We fared no better but did manage to put the girls down around 10:15pm.  Actually it was a bit fun as the girls wanted me to make up a story that involved two characters from different movies, such as; Nemo and Rapunzel or a duck-billed platypus and the three little pigs. Let me just say, my work should have been recorded for all to hear…….if you were deaf.

That’s it! Nothing more.

To be honest, I feel bad as my story’s lack the same intrigue and suspense as last year. But as I have said before. This adoption is a slam dunk. We have no surprises, no conflict, no uncertainty, no……whatever. Nata keeps referring to San Diego as her home and refers to us as her forever Mommy and Daddy. She’s always saying “Sanija is now my real sister”.


Sunday, October 16, 2016

Big Lido



By this time next week we will be home in San Diego. Wow, has that much time really flown by? I guess it has.  We have one more court visit on Tuesday, a court hearing on Wednesday and an Embassy visit on Thursday, a Visa pick-up on Friday and then we are done.  I can’t believe how much different this adoption was than Sanija’s. There is nothing even remotely the same except for friends and we’re in Latvia. But other than that…..,,,,,,,nope! That’s it.  Sheri and I have said many times that the way this trip has gone so far was what we had anticipated our first trip with Sanija was going to be like.

With Sanija it was a constant rollercoaster ride with backstories and obstacles at every turn. Those old FP really made life difficult and so confusing for our poor Sanija. Unlike this adoption, Nata was ready to be adopted the moment we landed in Latvia.  From the first HUG she accepted us as her forever Mommy and Daddy and there was never a doubt in her mind.  With this adoption we never had to worry about if we were bonding with her. We did that back in San Diego during the hosting period.

Basically, this was a visit to spend the required amount time in Latvia. Don’t get me wrong, we enjoy our time here (including time with Ilze and her beautiful family) and I think for Sheri, she not only gets to spend time with the girls but also gets her away from her 14 to 16 hour work days.
Anyhow, today would be an exciting day for the girls. Today, we were meeting up with Nata’s new foster family and Ilze was joining us at Big Lido. I think I’ve mentioned Big Lido before but it’s a huge buffet and carnival type rides and attractions outside. Yes, o u t s I d e !!!

The girls all cleaned up we headed for our nearby taxi stop. Let me give you a little advice. If you ever travel to Riga. They have several taxi cab services. Be careful who you choose. Let me give you an example. When we drove out to Ilze’s yesterday (white cab company) it cost us $15 euros but to get home (Panda) it only cost us $5 euros.  The lesson here: use Panda.

Anyhow, back to my story. As we were nearing Big Lido I asked Nata if she was excited to see her new foster family again and she shook her head and said, “no”. She then smiled and said, “I’m excited to see Ilze”.  Both Sheri and I looked at each other in a bit of disbelief.  Since we set up this meeting two weeks ago, she said she was excited but now, she didn’t really care. On the ride home she did say she was glad to see Vanessa and Anastacia. Both were other foster girls at the house.
We entered BL about the same time Ilze did and upon the girls seeing her, they both took off on a sprint to give her a hug. What the girls had obviously forgot was Ilze had a bad back and was still in pain. We got a little chuckle as we saw Ilze kind of back up against a pole as two screaming girls charged her.

Soon we found the other family and sat down to the buffet. I was hoping that our two girls and her 5 foster children along with the adults would mix it up a little bit. But, nope. They sat at one end of the table and we sat at the other. We would have thought Nata would have sat by her old foster brother and sisters but again, Nope! She sat between Sheri and Ilze and really didn’t interact with their family very much. Sheri, Ilze and myself tried to make conversation with the foster family but it was more work than a free flowing conversation. I was sitting next to Vanessa who speaks broken English pretty well. I like Vanessa and wish we could do more for her. She’s 16 and at any time could leave the foster care program. But she really has nowhere to go.

Near the end of lunch, ansay (as best I can spell it) (younger foster girl) started to again make eye contact with me as she did when we visited the foster home for the first time. Soon, Anastacia joined in and we played a little hide and sink via eye contact. Soon all the kids went outside to play while the adults stayed in the warm building. Before long the conversation stalled and I suggested we go visit the kids.  We had earlier given our girls 20 euros a piece for rides and game to be used on all the kids. As there were three “older” kids and the younger kids, Sanija wanted to take off with one of the boys and girls to do their thing. This left the youngers with us and immediately Anastacia took to me. Although she spoke no English Anastaca grabbed my hand and led me off leaving the others wondering where we were going. She wanted me to take her to the galloping toy horses. Well, that was that! Anastacia did not leave my side for the next hour. She held my hand, wanted me to pick her up, wanted hugs, would turn around and wait for me, wanted to be picked up again.  To be honest, I felt kinda bad. Not only to my girls (who I hope were watching and getting jealous) but to the foster mother who was actually adopting Anastacia.  Thank God for that or we would be pursuing a third adoption.



The feeling I was getting from the foster mother is that she didn’t really care for the generosity that Sheri and I along with our girls were giving their kids. I had offered to pay for many games but the FM would turn it down. I think I understand. Maybe she was trying to control the kids’ expectations, Maybe a cultural thing, maybe it was an American thing with money. I really don’t know but I do understand she had her reason.

After about an hour, the foster family headed home. We stayed around with Ilze as the girls still wanted to play a few games. I’m not sure of this magical power that Ilze has but our girls really love her. In fact, on the ride home Nata asked if she could go back with us to San Diego.
The day was still early and the girls started to play with some of the prizes they won at BL.  The girls turned into popsicles when they spent 45 minutes on our balcony blowing bubbles and watching them float throughout the street below. The best part was watching all the people below looking up and then waving to our two girls. So cute!

Having a little time to ourselves and Sanija wanting to practice babysitting, Sheri and I did something we have not done in a long time, except for those vacations to Italy, we went on a short but sweet date. Down the block was a wine bar Sheri wanted to try out since we got here. What a great idea, a self-serve wine bar. Basically your given a card which you insert into a wine machine. You pick the wine you want, out of a bottle, press how much you want (S/M/L) and waala…your wine glass is filled. At the end you give your card to a cashier and she rings you up. I think our entire bill was less than 17 euros. By the way, you’ll love this, at Big Lido we paid for our family (4) plus the foster family (7) at an select an item buffet, which means you pay for what items are on your plate and the entire bill was……..a wopping 41 euros. Can you believe that. In the grand ol’ USA that meal would have cost over $200 buck-a-roonies.

Before tucking in our two wild creatures tonight, it was decided that we need to own 100 minions. Of course, this was after watching “Despicable Me”.

You probably noticed that the blog was particularly long this evening. That’s what happens when I have time in the day to write rather than at 9:30 at night when I’m tired.